Wednesday, November 16, 2011

We are the NINE percent!

Move over annoying people at Occupy Wall Street! You claim you are the 99%? Ha! Well we are the 9% beoches! We are the 9% of Americans who approve of the way congress is doing their job! I think I can speak for all of us when I say thank god! Sure Nixon was more popular in the midst of watergate, Sure Paris Hilton fairs better than congress does! But eat your heart out Fidel Castro, congress has got you beat!

In one week the super committee(if there is one thing I love more than congress it's these big super committees! It's like Jaws part 2 when they face a bigger Jaws!) will show their contempt for the vast majority of us and thank goodness! Because this economy is all our faults!

  • How dare us want to send our kids to college, we're just gonna have to settle for less!
  • How dare us want our parents and grandparents to get quality and affordable health coverage, this bad economy is their faults!
  • How dare us demand that the men and women who fight overseas for us to receive the benefits they deserve, what have they done for us lately?!
  • How dare us want our roads and bridges to be safe to travel on, the rich just can't afford taxation!
  • How dare us want good quality public schools for the stupid next generation, why would we want our future to learn how to compete in a global economy in quality buildings with quality equipment, they're all just spoiled brats anyway!
  • How dare us want our local governments to provide our communities with teachers, firefighters, police men and women. How dare us also want emergency funds when disaster strikes! The billionaires are just struggling too much to handle a tax increase!
So punish us congress! We want you to! We don't want the rich ceo's for the companies we work for to pay a cent higher in taxes! We do want our friends, neighbors, loved ones, and veterans to pay though. Because in GOD we trust! Not guverment!

The government has no business in our lives! I'm sure they all flew down from Pluto and are planning to eat our spleens! We want absolutely no government in our lives! We just want to be taken care of by the whims of corporate interests, and Wall Street tycoons! Because the last time I checked, the Supreme Court ruled that corporations are people too!

Sorry America but we all have to just buck up and take it like adults! This is a capitalist society and when times are down you just have to take it! I'm pretty sure it's in the constitution! The last thing to do is raise anyone's taxes, that leads to communism and anarchy all at the same time! I think Ronald Reagan put it best when he said," Congress shall always have the power to fuck each and everyone of you in the ass when big banks and Wall Street shenanigans crash the economy."

So well done congress! We love you! Thank you for damning the country you pretend to serve! We don't care, pay no attention to the noisy protests on the streets. They'll fizzle out eventually. Fox news said so, so it must be true!



    1. Who me, or the person I was emulating?

    2. That's a great Ronald Reagan quote, right up there with George W Bush, who once said, "I'm far too busy executing the mentally retarded to tax people. Lay off - I'm only one man, and I can barely do one thing at a time without hurting myself!"

    3. Haha! I loved George W Bush! Greatest president ever! I could have a beer with him, he was one of us./sarcasm

    4. Yup. It's all our fault. I should have known better than to want to have things and be able to live. Stupid, stupid, stupid...

    5. Ya Wit! How dare you! You should just pull yourself up by yur bootstraps and become a pawn to corporate welfare!

    6. Nice to see you back and in fighting form, my friend. :)

    7. Well hello Jayne! Good to see you again as well.:)

    8. My my, now that was a nice heaping tablespoon of sarcasm. Normally, taking medicine makes me choke, but this felt so good trickling down my throat.


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